So you've decided to make an honest woman of your missus. You've saved up, bought a ring, dusted off the old proposal knee, and been accepted. Congratulations! Now there's only one thing standing between you and years of conjugal bliss – your wedding day.
As you are probably aware, a wedding is the bride's big day – The Happiest Day of Her Life™, where every girl finally gets to live out the fantasy of being a princess. Your job as a groom mostly entails being stuffed into a suit and then stuffed into the vaguely man-shaped vacancy in an event your bride has otherwise had planned down to its most intricate details since she was about five years old.
Say your lines, shake people's hands, try not to spill food on yourself, and that's about it.
- THINK about the way you like the day to be. Most guys don't spend a lot of time thinking about weddings in general, or their wedding in particular. Why should we? It's not like a zombie apocalypse, or something else that's actually likely to happen to us.
Well, I hate to break it to you, but your wedding is actually going to happen, dude. And coincidentally, the first step towards surviving your wedding day is exactly the same as the first step towards surviving a zombie apocalypse: think clearly about how you're going to do it.
What you actually want out of the day? Other than a beautiful wife of course. You don't need to get right down into the details, but try to get a general idea of how, ideally, the day would go for you. Do you see yourself standing at an altar, dressed to the nines for a church service? Or just chilling on a beach with a few friends? Or hanging from the rafters at a 3-day gypsy bacchanal? Do you like the idea of 500 guests, or more like 5? And so on.
try surviving zombie apocalypse and wedding
whiskey bar - TALK with your bride-to-be. Once you have some idea what you'd like to happen on your wedding day, discuss this with your partner and see how it might fit in with what she's got planned.
It's easy to assume that a woman will have her wedding plans set in stone long before you even met her, but this really isn't the case – if it was, she wouldn't have just spent the whole of Masterchef carrying out a one-sided debate on the colour of the bridesmaids' shoes.
On the other hand, the the fact that men generally have no opinions to offer on such questions as whether to go for the lacy save-the-date cards or the other kind, can lead to the impression that we have no opinions to offer about the day at all.
The fact that (save-the-date cards aside) you are actually interested in this event and do have some ideas about it could come as a revelation. And this in turn can lead to some surprising concessions. For example, I told my fiancee that I'd always liked the idea of being married by an Elvis impersonator, and to my amazement this was totally fine. As a result, we got married by a celebrant dressed as Elvis. Success!
you're married mama - COMPROMISE. As my grandmother told me, marriage is all about compromise – and this includes the wedding day. Obviously the bride has more invested in this than you do, and as such there'll be much more give than take on your part. But it's important that she knows your limits. There are only so many songs from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack that a man can be reasonably subjected to in one sitting.
not the time of his life
This is your wedding, after all, not Guantanamo Bay. And if you think the Swarovski crystal napkin rings and the mother-of-pearl doily holders are a step too far, don't be afraid to say so. Ingestion of too many bridal magazines can lead to a serious loss of perspective, so it may be your job to be the one with their feet on the ground. Which leads me to:
Feet firmly on the ground - BRIDAL MAGAZINES are the devil. Plus which, it's 2013 – Just look that shit up on tumblr or pinterest or something.
- INVOLVE YOUR FRIENDS – and not just for the buck's night. Think about what your friends might be able to bring to the party. Whether they have skills to share or just a willingness to help, if you can get a few mates on board then it'll make the whole business a bit easier and more enjoyable. And lastly:
Needed - chef, florist, photographer and celebrant friends - DON'T STRESS (too much). Just try to have fun and it'll all be alright on the day. The two of you love each other, that's the most important thing, and it's the two of you – not the canapes or the open bar or the floral place settings – that everyone's actually coming to see.
At the end of the day, if everyone's seen the two of you in love and making a commitment to each other, then they'll all go home happy and it won't matter that the cake fell over or one of the groomsmen got blackout drunk or the ring didn't fit. And you'll go home happy and it won't matter to you either.
go home happy written by Anton Allen (groom of days past)
No comments:
Post a Comment