Writing Vows

Writing your own vows is one of the perks of getting a Civil Celebrant to perform the wedding ceremony for you, it can sometimes be hard to start, sometimes hard to finish and sometimes seemingly impossible but here are some important tips to remember. 

1. Keep it under 10 minutes - You can make all your finer points during your speech when everyone has a beverage in their hand and some potato chips in their tummies (or fancy canapes if that's the way you are heading) Keep the vows concise, simple and effective. 

2. Don't be afraid to get a bit mushy - Weddings are highly emotional events and everyone is there to celebrate you and your relationship, don't be afraid to put in some romantic hopes and dreams, things you adore most about your beloved or a nice metaphor about your love being like the ocean or the stars. This is the one day you won't be judged and people like to get all grossed out on love and sentiment at weddings. 

3. Don't be afraid to not be mushy - It's your day if romantic notions make you feel queasy - avoid them! Be funny or warmly sweet or add a touch of realism instead, if my fiancée vowed to wash the dishes whenever I didn't want to that would be romantic enough (hint hint if you are reading this) In fact that would be all he needed to say. 

Juggling romantics 

4. Try different mediums - who says you have to read aloud your vows, if you are private types you could write each other letters and read them in your head at the same time, if you are musical you could sing a song that represented how you felt, if you are arty you could project a series of picture stills, you could even perform an interpretive dance to demonstrate your love. The sky is literally the limit (sky writing might take longer than 10 mins but it'd certainly be effective) 

5. You can read vows off a piece of paper or a napkin or the back of your hand - it's 10 am your wedding is in 1 hour you go for coffee and have a moment of doubt about your vows and write down something beautiful and more in line with what you want to say on a napkin. Just put the napkin/smart phone/coaster/bank statement/crumpled muffin bag in your pocket or give to your celebrant and read directly off it when the time comes. 

It'll be sweet and no one expects you to remember your vows off by heart! You are in a vortex of love and heightened emotion and probably just want to kiss your beloved, remembering lines can be left to the actors. 

I promise to...

6. You can mention something sad - If your beloved grandfather has recently passed away and you want to mention him in your vows and the inspiration he bestowed upon you, you should. It's OK to bring up sad things if you are honouring someone important to you. 

7. Its OK to cry and blubber through your vows - I can tell you now I will most likely cry during mine, so I think it's OK...right? RIGHT? 

Article on weepy Grooms and Brides 

As long as you are sticking to what feels right for you, highlighting your relationship and your love for your partner and most of all being sincere, anything goes, whether you want to make promises to each other or know that those promises are implicit and would rather spend that time making googly eyes at each other is up to you. 

Good luck engaged couples and if you have any of your own experience with this, I would love to hear about it. 

Some Links about Vows
Steal these vows
20 tips! 
Real Vows
Non-traditional Wedding Vows

Beautiful Chicago Wedding